How to get There and Back Again

WoWScrnShot_022916_165355 (2)WoW has a lot of mounts in game already.  We have flying horses, magical roosters, swimming turtles, and just about everything in between.  However, there are a few rather important mounts that the game is lacking! Fussypants and Yotaan sit down and discuss just what we are missing mount-wise.

Yotaan: I think there should be shaman mount.  It should be air elemental mount, like the wind or something.

Fussypants: Lol, I just got this fantastic image of your shaman doubled over, propelling through the air by the force of his own farts.  It would be like the worgen running wild form but better!

Yotaan:  That is NOT what I was thinking!

Fussypants:  Well then how would you image a wind elemental mount would work?

Yotaan:  I was thinking more along the lines of riding a gust of wind.

Fussypants:  Meh, we already have that with the Red Riding Cloud thing.

I have a brilliant idea!

Ok, so imagine this just totally decked out player, mythic gear, stunning transmog, the works.

Yotaan:  Okaay…

Fussypants:  They slow walk out of an inn somewhere (because I mean, they are so rockin’ that they can slow walk everywhere) and stand outside for a second before they start the mount up animation.
There’s a short cast, a puff of smoke and sparkles, and then suddenly, a PALANQUIN APPEARS!

Yotaan:  And the Inn explodes, twice

Fussypants:  It’s four grummels or pygmies or some other NPC race carrying you around on this totally awesome palanquin

Yotaan: Palanquin?

Fussypants:  Like these guys here!

Yotaan: That is terrible!

Fussypants:  No, it would be awesome! What better way to show off your talents and achievements than to be literally carried on them??

Yotaan:  What, what if they were bosses you beat?  You know, carrying the palanquin.

Fussypants: That works too!

Yotaan:  How about, instead of the palanquin, its a giant blue whale.  It’s so big that it blots out half the screen on full camera zoom out.  Awesome!

Fussypants:  So like the movie Whale Rider?  For your whale idea, would it be water only?

Yotaan:  No, totally is a flying mount.  And weirdly, doesn’t work in water.  Auto-dismounts you and you lose 3/4’s of your breath too.

Fussypants: Lol, I can only imagine the griefing that such a mount would cause

Yotaan:  Would your palanquin mount be ground only?

Fussypants: Yes, but it would be the only mount mountable in instances, so you can show it off in the very raids where you would earn it

Yotaan: And, of course, it goes very slow, same as walking speed.  Again, so you can show off.

Fussypants: Yup!

Fussypants: The other mount I’ve always wanted is a pogo stick.  It wouldn’t need to be flying because you could just jump over all obstacles.

Yotaan: Lol, I think it should be locked behind a long rep grind, like a befriending a warlike troop of angry kangaroos.  To rep up, you need to solve jumping puzzles.

Fussypants: YES.
There we go, mount problem solved.
No one would ever want another mount again.

Yotaan: Yep, once again we solved all of Wow’s problems!

Fussypants: /highfive

So there you have it! The pogo-stick is the most important mount that we are still missing! What mounts would you all like to see in-game?